


black coffee

by darthniall



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Angst, Coffee Shops, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Smut, idk im horrible at tagging, mostly angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-07
Updated: 2014-02-07
Packaged: 2018-01-11 11:06:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1172300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darthniall/pseuds/darthniall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry lost his memory, calling himself Ben and living a different life, without knowing that he was actually a member of the world’s biggest boyband. He didn't know that the band he was in, was broken up and trying to find a way to cope without their four brothers with them.</p><p>Louis couldn’t stay in the band without Harry. Unspoken feelings remained unsaid as he moved away from his home to patiently wait by the love of his life, silently begging him to remember him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was in psychology and a condition called dissociative fugue. People with dissociative fugue temporarily lose their sense of personal identity and impulsively wander or travel away from their homes or places of work. People with dissociative fugue often become confused about who they are and might even create new identities... and then this happened

Ben looked at his reflection in the mirror before running his fingers through his mop of curly hair. His emerald green eyes were outlined with red caused by another restless night, but, for now, it would have to do. He had to work to pay the hotel bill, or else the manager would give him an earful if he sent in another late check. 

Ben found himself working as a waiter at a small town diner, living in a motel just down the road. He didn't completely understand why he was there, but he soon morphed into this life. He had friends, his co-workers- everyone seemed to adore him. And the girls seemed to love him, which was always a good thing. He quickly adopted to the daily routine: getting up, going to work, taking a stroll through town, sometimes have a few short conversations with the few people he knew, then back to the motel room for late night TV shows and sleep. It's all Ben ever knew, and he was perfectly okay with that.

Ben grabbed his keys on the way out and went to his beat-up used car, careful not to slip into the puddles. Ben turned the key in the ignition, blowing warm air onto the closed fist of his other hand. It took two or three times to start it, but when it did, music blasted from the radio.

"-the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed! But when you-" Ben quickly changed the station with a heavy eye-roll; he hated pop music. He shoved in one of his favorite CD's, and soon his car was filled with the soft strums of the guitar and the deep voice of an angel, Ed Sheeran. As he turned onto the main road, he began thinking about meeting Ed in person. That would probably make his life. 

He took the long way to work, noticing he was a little early, and enjoyed the way the rain hit the windshield, and the sound of Ed's soft voice together. Ed always sounded better in the rain. Ben liked the little things like this. He didn't like to feel rushed, which is why he gets up a bit earlier than he needs to.

Soon, Ben couldn't procrastinate work any longer, and parked his car outside of the cafe. He shook his hair loose one more time before lifting his hood up and over his head. He quickly took out his keys and made a beeline to the door. Inside, he could see Felicity laughing at him.

"What?" he asked smiling at her, shaking the water droplets from his hair, before swiping it to the side.

She just laughed, "Oh nothing, Ben. Just that you look absolutely hilarious running like that!" she giggled again.

He swatted her away, trying his very hardest not to blush. He put his apron on, and grabbed his notepad and pen. "Just get to work Felicity!" Ben mumbled. Really, he didn't look that stupid running, right?

He made a few rounds, taking everyone's order quickly, giving everyone a kind smile. Then he saw him; the boy who sits in the same spot, sipping his coffee everyday.

He had light brown hair that either swept in front of his forehead or was swept up in a perfect style. He had light blue eyes, that were always looking down at the table and nearly always seemed sad. He always had bags underneath his eyes, leading Ben to believe that he never gets enough sleep. He's always slouched over the coffee that he orders everyday, only ordering from Ben. He wouldn't let Felicity or Paige take his order; it was always, "Where's Ben? Can he wait on me?"

Pretty soon, it became assumed that Ben would take his order without question, even though he knew his order was always black coffee, no sugar.

"May I take your order?" He asked, already scribbling 'black coffee' onto the notepad.

"Black coffee please." he asked, looking hopeful into Ben's eyes... As if he didn't already know that they always served coffee.

"Sure thing!" he said cheerfully, ignoring the fact that this guy gave him a strange sense of comfort, even though their conversations never drifted.

"Thanks, Hazza- I mean, Ben." The guy said awkwardly, looking down at his hands that were trembling slightly. Ben raised his eyebrow slowly, before mumbling a quick, "You're welcome." and turning towards the kitchen.

As he filled up the coffee jug, his mind couldn't stay put. Hazza? What was that? A name? Why did it have such a feeling of recognition for Ben? He had never heard that name for as long as he could remember, yet he couldn't help but have a sense of deva ju.

He shrugged off the feeling, taking the jug back out to the house. "Here you go." he said quietly to the boy as he filled up his cup, steam rising. The boy gave a half smile, not looking up to meet Ben's curious gaze. He slowly tugged the sleeves of his sweater down to wrap his small hands around the warm mug. 

For a year, this boy came into this shop ordering the same thing everyday. Ben's never taken the time to ask why he's always alone. Ben's never asked why he wanted him to serve him. He's never even asked the boy what his name was.

That was going to change today.

"Who's Hazza?" Ben asked, looking at the boy who spiked his curiosity.

The boy snapped his head and looked at at Ben with those same hopeful eyes. "He's the boy I fell in love with."

He's gay. This fact didn't gaze Ben at all. It would probably have been hypocritical if it did. Ben was more of a free soul, flirting with whomever he deemed attractive. Instead, he pulled out the seat across from the boy, and sat down. "Want to talk about it?" Ben asked carefully, letting the boy know that he had noticed his sad eyes all this time.

The boy swallowed thickly, "We fought. We were doing so well, until that fight. I can't even remember what it was about." He said placing his elbows on the table, and burying his face in his hands. "The last thing I said to him was, 'I hate you'." Ben could hear the sobs bubbling in his chest under his broken voice.

The were silent for a few seconds, until Ben's curiosity got the best of him again. "What happened to him? Is he dead?"

He looked up at Ben, his eyes red from tears, "The Hazza I knew is dead. I worry that i'll never have him back again." Ben heart broke for the poor lad. He didn't know what it get like to be in love, but looking at the way this Hazza tore him apart, he could feel it. He could feel the way this guy loved his Hazza.

"If it was meant to be, he'll come back. If he doesn't, try moving on." Ben was awful at giving advice, he knew that, but he tried his best. He felt this urge to protect this beautiful boy.

A sob escaped from the boy's mouth and he began crying into his hands. Ben stayed, not knowing how to help and began rubbing his shoulder. After a few minutes, the boy calmed down enough to look back up at Ben. He strained a smile, "Thanks."

"No problem." he smiled back. "What's your name?"

"Louis." he said quietly, that god damn hopeful look back in his eyes. What he was hopeful about?

"BEN!" Paige yelled. Ben jumped before patting Louis on the back.

"See you tomorrow." he said with a warm smile before running off to feel the wrath of Paige's lecture.

Louis sat there, trying to control his own sobs, wiping his face clear of tears. His phone rang with the sound of an 'Isn't She Lovely' cover. He smiled slightly at the deep voice before he pulled it out and answered.

"Hello?"

"Louis?" it was Niall's voice. He sounded concerned. "I, er... I think it's time to come home now..."

Louis' eyes widened, "No! I think he's coming 'round! I'm so close!" he tried not to sob again. "I can't leave him Niall... I can't abandon him..."

"Louis... The band needs you."

Anger rippled through him, "It isn't the band without Harry, Niall! Just because he lost his memory, doesn't mean we can just abandon him like this!" he took a deep breath, "I'm not leaving until Harry leaves with me."

"It's not abandoning. You need to take a break. Get away for a away... Louis, you heard the doctor. He's probably never going to get his memory ba-" Louis hung up the phone. That wasn't going to happen. Harry was different. He would get through this. They didn't know him. They didn't know he was a fighter. He fought to get through each of the live shows on X-Factor. He was strong. He could get through this. 

So there he was, sipping his coffee, watching Harry poke Paige's cheek trying to get her to lighten up. The younger boy didn't even know that his entire life before that fight, was wiped clean. He didn't know that he used to love and be love by the boy waiting day by day for a miracle: for the love of his life to recognize his face.


	2. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's a bit short and it'll be a little confusing but i'll explain everything in chapter 3 xx

Three years. Three years into the band's career, and three years into their friendship, Louis kissed Harry. Two weeks later, they told the rest of the boys that they were dating. three weeks later, and a phone call to Eleanor who had been hired to help Louis appear straight, their story was on the front page of every magazine and newspaper in the world. Part of the world thought they were disgusting, but another part claimed them to be the hottest couple in the music industry. It didn't take long for the boys to get used to the hate, because over-all, it was all worth it.

Their families were so supportive; nearly screaming in celebration. The three boys joined Louis and Harry and their families to a celebration of bravery and sacrifice. There were plenty of "i knew it"s and everyone was all smiles. 

On their six month anniversary, Harry and Louis escaped for a honeymoon-like atmosphere. It was long nights of sweaty skin on skin, hot breaths, and confessions of love. After their vacation, there was a spark in their eyes when they looked at each other. They couldn't help but grin and slide closer to each other, unable to go any longer without touching. It was all "disgustingly adorable", as Niall would constantly comment. 

Everything was perfect. Harry began talking to Jay regularly. One conversation lead to another, and the two of them set out to the nearest jeweler with smiles of excitement on their faces. "Nothing to flashy." Harry had told them woman behind the counter. "Something a bit manly, but he is a sucker for a sparkle or two."

With the box in his pocket, and his wallet considerably lighter, Harry and Jay give their thanks to the woman, and make their way to the car. They reach Jay's house and with shaking hands, he says goodbye. She kissed his forehead and reminds him that Louis will say yes. Louis had told her several times. Harry nodded with a toothy grin and made his way to his own car, honking his horn at Jay and Lottie who had run out to say goodbye. 

He couldn't wait ask. He couldn't wait to go to their apartment. 

 

* * *

"Hey, Ben." Louis said, smiling lightly at the young boy taking his order. It was light and easy and Ben just rustled his hair, pushed it back into place, and smiled down at the older boy.

"Hello!" Ben questioned, "Black coffee, like usual?"

Louis nodded, "Of course."

Ben smiled, his dimples showing. "Louis, right?" As he scribbled down the familiar order. The order was engraved into his mind. Sure, it wasn't that hard of an order to remember, but maybe it had something to do with the fact that the older boy caught his attention. He may or may not have memorized everything that the boy said or did. Maybe. 

The older boy nodded enthusiastically. "Yes." Ben stuffed his notepad into the front pocket of his apron. Felicity had made fun of Ben for the first few weeks as he tied his apron proudly around his waist. Soon, she realized that it was just what Ben did, and let it be. Ben looked around the cafe quickly before realizing that the place was practically empty, and he could spare a few precious minutes talking to the mysterious and beautiful boy who seemed to catch Ben's attention. 

"And how are you feeling?" Ben questioned, hinting towards the conversation they had yesterday. Unrealistic hope bubbled in the pit of Louis' stomach. Maybe, just maybe, he would remember him today.

"Better. Not good, but better." Louis said honestly, giving Ben a small smile of reassurance. If knew, that he would get worried and start feeling guilty about something he had no control over, and Louis never wanted to put him in that sort of position. 

"That's good! I'll, um- I'll be back with you coffee." Ben said taking two small steps backwards before hesitating. Looking at the blue-eyed boy sitting at the table with his eyes glued to the coffee in the mug. Something tugged in Ben's chest, and he ached to be close to the boy, and make him feel better in any way he could. Maybe he was just a friendly person, but he couldn't help it. "I'm going on my break right now, so maybe I can... Uh..." Ben struggled to find the right words. How could he explain that something about this Louis guy, intrigued him. He wanted to know more about him. "Maybe," he started again, "We can finish our talk from yesterday?"

Louis couldn't hide the grin that slid on his face. "Sure. Company would be nice." he tried to sound nonchalant about it, but his face gave everything away. Ben smiled again before walking away, behind the counter and into the kitchen. Once the younger boy was out of sight, Louis wiped his clammy palms onto his sweats. He shouldn't be nervous, but he was. This was his best friend he had known for years. Hell, this was someone that he was the closest person he's ever been with. This was the boy who made love to Louis whispering sweet nothings in his ear. It was like they were meeting for the first time all over again, and Louis was fearful of his second first impression of him.

Ben came back with the coffee, and set it down in front of Louis. Louis took it graciously, picking up the spoon and twirling the liquid around, for the sole purpose of calming his nerves. He watched as Harry sat down across from him, looking down at his coffee with his eyebrows slightly furrowed, concentrating deeply.

"Have you talked to... Him?" Ben asked, not looking up into Louis' eyes.

Louis bit his lip softly, trying to keep the tears from falling again. "Yes." It was soft, as if he was unsure of his own answer. "I talked to him."

Ben looked to Louis with a face that he couldn't read. It looked like he was almost surprised but a disappointed surprised look. "What did you guys talk about?"

Louis shrugged, pretending that talking to Ben yesterday wasn't a big deal. It wasn't what he was waiting for, months after they last spoke like that. "Just a hello. I told him things that I hadn't told anyone..." How in the world could Louis say this, without telling Ben that he was really the lad he was talking about. That he was really the lad he loved so deeply.

"Did you tell him that you loved him?" Ben said, scooting his chair in, placing his elbows on the table. He was looking at Louis with those eyes... those hopeful and open eyes that Louis fell in love with. He was so open and vulnerable and Louis didn't know how to tell Ben that he loved him with everything he had.

Louis bit his lip, "Yes, but I don't think he understood."

Ben nodded slowly, "I'm sure he'll come around. Keep telling him and one day, he'll understand and maybe those feelings will be returned."

Louis swallowed thickly. How he wished those words were true.

"I love him. I love him so much."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave comments and kudos thanks x

**Author's Note:**

> i know i didn't explain much, but more things will be explain in each chapter :)
> 
> please leave feedback!


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